Get An Edge In Your Life!

I will be Phil -ing in the Blanks in your life. This is my new series where I will help you get “the edge” in your life. What I want you to do is start Living by Design and have a definition of what success is in your life.  I want us to come away with a plan that you can get excited about.….and that’s what this series is all about!

Living By Design 7 

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The profile that follows will help you see the degree to which your current life experience — how you are thinking, feeling, and living — compares to what your experience would be if you were living an ideal, fully authentic, and fulfilling life. This test takes you through a three-step process.


First, you will describe your full potential by rating yourself on certain dimensions as you would be at your best.

Second, you’ll rate yourself on the same dimensions, this time as those dimensions reflect who and what you believe you really are. 

Third, you will determine the percentage of difference between the two. The comparison will give you an early benchmark as to the health of your self-concept and the extent to which you are living true to yourself.

Dr. Joe McGraw


 In every person’s life, there have been moments, both positive and negative, that have defined and redefined who you are. Those events entered your consciousness with such power that they changed the very core of who and what you thought you were. A part of you was changed by those events, and caused you to define yourself, to some degree by your experience of that event.


Public Speaker



There are a surprisingly small number of choices that rise to the level of life-changing ones. Critical choices are those that have changed your life, positively or negatively, and are major factors in determining who and what you will become. They are the choices that have affected your life up to today, and have set you on a path.




These are the people who have left indelible impressions on your concept of self, and therefore, the life you live. They may be family members, friends or co-workers, and their influences can be either positive or negative. They are people who can determine whether you live consistently with your authentic self, or instead live a counterfeit life controlled by a fictional self that has crowded out who you really are. 


Search Team


5 steps of how to deal with the external circumstances
1. Isolate the target

2. Audit what you’re saying to yourself about it

3. Is what I’m doing authentically what I want to do

4. AAA - Authentically Acceptable Alternative 

5. M.E.R - Minimal Effective Response





#1 Claim it

#2 Have A Strategy 

#3 The Universe Rewards Actions

#4 Willing to Take Risks

#5 Deal with Reality

#6 Nucleus

#7 Passion and Excitement


On Your Marks
Project Status

Set goals. Put it on a timeline and commit to change

4 Stages of Readiness- Commit to a change

#1 Making a change because its assigned by authority

#2 Making a change because somebody else wants you to

#3 Intellectually you are ready for a change

#4 Real change happens when mentally and emotionally you are ready for change.


Woman Crossing Race Finish Line

What is success in your life?

What patterns are you doing that are giving you the payoffs?

Identify the payoff, control the currency.

When you control the currency, then YOU control YOU


Laws of Life

You either get it or you don’t- You need to take care of you so that you can take care of other people.
Seize what’s there and live on purpose.

Personal Truth- what you believe about yourself when nobody else is looking or listening.

Don’t compare your personal truth(s) to another individual’s personal mask.

Cognitive Dissonance is an internal conflict that needs to be resolved. 


How Much Fun Are You?

The formula for a successful relationship:

Solid underlined friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.


Job #1: Work to discover the needs of your partner

Job #2: Work to teach your partner your needs

“Don’t feel selfish when putting yourself first, because you can’t give away what you don’t have.” 

Worksheets and Tests

Authenticity Litmus Test

Rut Test


Get An Edge

Pay Offs


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