Updated: Sep 27
In part seven of Relationship Reality Check, Dr. Phil drops some relationship wisdom: It's on you to own your actions and mindset. Don't give up on yourself or your partner. Grow and evolve instead of playing the blame game. Rekindle what made your partner fall for you in the first place and rediscover yourself. Take the reins of your relationship and your behavior. Be the kind of friend your partner deserves.
Learn how to invest your time and energy wisely. Keep it real emotionally, be open, and choose happiness over being right. Oh, and don't forget those nine tips for a healthy relationship - put 'em to work! Time to assess your own relationships.
Keeping It Real: Relationship Reality Check PT7
[00:00:00] "The Importance of Self-Reflection"
Setting the Stage for Relationship Improvement
[00:00:30] Recognizing and Addressing Relationship Problems
Identifying Relationship Issues
[00:01:22] Moving from What Not to Do to What to Do
Transitioning from Negative to Positive Actions
[00:02:01] Reflecting on Contributions to the Relationship
Evaluating One's Impact on the Relationship
[00:03:01] Embracing Positive Change
Initiating Positive Changes in Behavior
[00:04:00] Reconnecting with Your Partner's Love for You
Rekindling the Initial Attraction
[00:05:26] Self-Reflection and Rediscovery
Self-Examination for Personal Growth
[00:06:24] Can You Get Back to the 'You' Your Partner Fell in Love With?
Acknowledging the Potential for Growth
[00:07:46] Balancing Individuality and Partnership
Maintaining Individuality within a Relationship
[00:09:03] Continual Evolution of Relationships
The Ongoing Process of Relationship Growth
[00:11:39] Taking Ownership of Your Relationship
Empowering Yourself to Impact the Relationship
[00:14:10] Embracing Vulnerability
Overcoming Fear of Emotional Vulnerability
[00:15:33] Shifting Focus from Problems to Friendship
Transitioning from Problem-Centric to Friendship-Centric
[00:18:08] Accepting and Supporting Your Partner
Embracing Your Partner's Natural Self
[00:20:38] Promoting Your Partner's Self-Esteem
Boosting Your Partner's Self-Confidence
[00:30:57] The Power of Undivided Attention
Giving undivided attention to improve relationships
[00:31:58] Focus on Others
Encouraging genuine interest in others
[00:34:28] Venting Frustrations Appropriately
Redirecting frustrations to the right channel
[00:38:23] Emotional Integrity
Being honest about your emotions in a relationship
[00:47:27] Choose Happiness over Being Right
Prioritizing happiness over winning arguments
[00:52:39] Transcend Turmoil
Maintaining the sanctity of the relationship amid conflicts
[00:54:10] Put Motion into Your Emotions
Taking action to improve and strengthen relationships
WORKBOOK:(or click below to download)
Additional Resources & Videos:
Find out if you are ready to find your authentic self and begin to live by design. Respond to these questions honestly and thoroughly. There are no right or wrong answers; rather, these questions are designed to get you thinking about your authentic self. After you've completed this exercise, save your answers. They'll be helpful as you continue the Self Matters process.
1. Did you at one time listen carefully to your innermost voice? Describe this moment. When was it and what was the circumstance? Do you suspect that somehow, somewhere along the way, you have lost contact with it?
2. Is your behavioral life, your public persona, at odds with the values, beliefs, desires, passions and visions that define your authentic self? If so, how? 3. Do you know, today, in vivid detail, who the authentic you is? Or are you living a compromised existence?
Our scripts define the roles we play. What part are you playing?
How fixed beliefs define our roles: Our fixed beliefs define the roles we play in life and have a lot to do with the scripts that are running them. Just as actors follow a play's script for lines, actions and attitude, we follow life scripts according to what our fixed beliefs tell us. Are you telling yourself that you are a tragic character or heroic character? Are you playing the loving mother, abusive husband, frustrated artist or successful businessman? Why scripts are dangerous: Whatever your fixed beliefs are, you have practiced your script for so long that you believe what it says about you and your potential. This is why life scripts are dangerous. We begin to perceive them as being set in stone. We even allow them to shape the way we expect things to turn out. Fixed beliefs also influence the casting, location and wardrobe of our script. Who is "right" for the part in our script and who isn't? What type of living arrangement and attire are appropriate for the character we are playing, etc.?
When life scripts become limiting: Because our scripts are based on fixed beliefs, we tend to resist any challenges or changes to them. If we suddenly feel happy and fulfilled, but our script says that we should feel sad and hopeless, we tend to panic because we've gone "off script." It just doesn't feel right and besides, the happy role belongs to someone else, doesn't it? This is an example of why most fixed beliefs are also limiting beliefs. They limit our scripts by dictating what we can't do, don't deserve and aren't qualified for.
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