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Relationship Reality Check: How Much Fun Are You To Live With?

Phil in the Blanks

  • Principle of Reciprocity - Until you begin to live with dignity, respect, and emotional integrity, you will not have that quality and level of interaction with anyone else. You cannot give away what you do not have. Relationships are not 50/50. That's one of the biggest myths of relationships. Relationships are 100/ 100. That means you have to look at yourself as 100% responsible for your own destiny.

  • Drop Dead Deal Makers. Choose to define your image so that you distinguish yourself from anyone else in the world.

  • Core Consciousness: Getting back in touch with your core of consciousness will remind and convince you that there is nothing wrong with you that justifies your having less than a rewarding relationship in which you can live, love, and laugh every day of your life.

  • We are each a life manager with 1 client- I think everyone of us is a life manager. We have a client list of one your life manager just as I am. I'm a life manager. I got one client. That's Phil.

  • Drop Dead Deal Breakers in a Relationship

  • For worksheets, tests and more - click here.

Happiest Time In Your Life

I want you to think back to the happiest time in your life. Was it when you were a kid? Were you eight or nine or ten? Was it when you went to college? Was it when you got that first apartment on your own at first job? Was it the first time you fell in love? Was it the first time that you really felt like you were independent? I want you to think back to that time...

1. When was it? What about it made it the happiest time of your life? What did you look like? What did you wear?

2. Why did the happiest time in your life end? What changed?

3. What would you have to do to get back to that happiest time?

4. If you are in a relationship, what made it the happiest time in your relationship? What changed in the relationship?


Drop Dead Deal Breakers

1. Violence. Make a safe exit plan. If you are in a relationship and someone is attacking, beating, choking, slapping, hitting or physically abusing you. You need to begin to formulate a safe Exit Plan and get out as quickly as you can safely do so. For an exit strategy go to:

2. Someone abusing drugs or alcohol and they refuse help. If you have somebody that is abusing drugs or alcohol and they refuse to get help, you need to get out or they have to get out. Protect yourself and get out and do not return until such a time as some independent professional tells you it’s safe.

3. Pathology. Diagnosed mental illness. They are doing dangerous things and refuse to get help. I'm not just talking about somebody that's moody. I'm talking about someone that has a diagnosed mental illness. They clearly do not have contact with reality and they are doing dangerous things. They behave in ways that put you and or your children in harm's way. I'm telling you to protect yourself and your children.


Reconnecting With Your Core

If you are in a bad relationship, it’s because you set it up that way. Are you ready to embrace a new kind of thinking, a new belief system, a new way of looking at yourself and your partner? Answer the following questions:

-Can you forget what you think you know about managing relationships?

-Can you decide to measure the quality of your relationship based on results instead of intentions or promises?

-Can you decide that you would rather be happy than right?

-Can you adopt a new strategy and believe that when you change you then they may come along?


Can you embrace the following?


Be committed.

Do what it takes.

Have what you want.

For worksheets, tests and more - click here.


Hi Dr Phil, I have already listened to Living by Design. I enjoyed it so much. I keep trying to get my 33 year old son to listen to it as well. I thought it may have been more directed to someone with a career and I am now retired. Loved every part of it. I listen to it on the drive to my boyfriends house 65 miles away. Now I am starting the Relationship Reality. I find it all very insightful and motivating. Thank you for that. Last comment, love Robins clothes, however they cut off her feet when you walk her out on your show and I know the shoes have to be awesome as well…


I love your podcasts. The interview you did with Robin was one of my favorites. You two seemed so real and so normal like the rest of us! I guess because you are celebrities we forget you are human and feel just like we do. (Sorry) The love you have for each other and your sons touched my heart. I truly felt Robin's love, too. It made me a bigger fan!


I am so sorry, but you are so arrogant, you come across to hard on people. I watch your show often, I know you are educated,, but, please , don’t make people feel like they are so stupid!!

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