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Tracy McMillan - Relationship Expert

Updated: Dec 31, 2019


I've been doing this for 45 years and I tell people if you are getting ready to get into a new relationship, you should never do it. If you don't do an autopsy on the relationship, you just got out of right and an autopsy on what you did. - Dr. Phil

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Phil's in the Blanks

Tracy McMillan is a television writer, relationship expert and author, whose credits include Mad Men, Good Girls Revolt, Marvel's Runaways, and United States of Tara. She’s the author of three books – a memoir, I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway; a novel, Multiple Listings; and a relationship book, Why You’re Not Married… Yet. The latter is based on the viral blog Why You’re Not Married, which for more than two years was the most-viewed article in the history of the Huffington Post. Tracy’s made numerous television appearances, including Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday, NBC’s dating show Ready For Love, The Today Show, Access Hollywood Live, Katie and more. Her TedX talk The Person You Really Need to Marry has more than 12 million views.



  • WHY YOU’RE NOT MARRIED…YET - The straight talk you need to get the relationship you deserve

  • You're a Bitch. (page 3) Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed.

  • 2. You're Shallow. (page 21) When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character.

  • 3. You're a Slut. (page 47) Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married

  • 4. You’re Crazy (page 67) Crazy is all about intensity. Lots of people feel more alive when they're riding a roller-coaster relationship. But while this might be fun for a while, it can't possibly last. That's because intensity is the opposite of intimacy.

  • 5. You're Selfish. (page 84) If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds.

  • Autopsy of a relationship

  • Arranged marriage – very functional & eliminates influence from childhood trauma when choosing a partner




Family or Fiancé on OWN’s Saturday night lineup

The series is returning to OWN for all new episodes starting January 11, 2020


FAMILY OR FIANCÉ returns to OWN for another emotionally explosive season.


The couples and their families live under one roof for three days and participate in activities designed to strengthen their bond, unpack their differences, and show some very complicated relationships in a whole new light.


Tracy is not a therapist, she is a mediator, a voice of reason for the couples on the show on ways to deal with their relationship problems and family issues head on in order to help resolve the conflicts that could undermine their future together.


What certifies her expertise is based off of life experience.


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