EP2 Relationship Reality Check: How Much Fun Are You To Live With?
Updated: Jan 20, 2020
Phil in the Blanks
Manage conflicts with harsh set-ups that is marked by criticism, sarcasm and contempt.
The presence of the Four Horsemen: Criticism Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling
Flooding
Body language – fight or flight mode.
Failed repaired attempts
Backlog of bad memories
For worksheets, tests and more - click here.
Subscribe and Listen
#StartWithYou #WinInLife #RealtionshipRealityCheck #DrPhil #PhilintheBlanks #Podcast
For worksheets, tests and more - click here.
Personal Concept Profile
This is designed to stimulate your thinking about your current relationship and how it has affected you. Use these insights and this information to create clarity about what's going on in your relationship. Use a journal to record your thoughts. The following are 42 sentences. You are to finish each sentence with an honest and spontaneous thought. Do not spend a great amount of time contemplating any one item. Your first reaction will probably be the most revealing. NOTE: Be brutally candid in all of your responses. Resist the temptation to put down a "right" answer. No one needs to see these responses but you.
1. I tend to deny ...
2. I am happiest when ...
3. Sometimes I ...
4. What makes me angry is ...
5. I wish ...
6. I hate it when ...
7. When I get angry I ...
8. I would give anything if my partner would ...
9. Sometimes ...
10. I would be more lovable if ...
11. My mother and father ...
12. If only I had ...
13. My best quality is ...
14. Sometimes at night ...
15. When I was a child ...
16. My worst trait is ...
17. My life really changed when ...
18. If my relationship ends it will be because ...
19. My partner hates it when I ...
20. When I am alone I ...
21. My partner gets angry when ...
22. My partner's greatest fear is ...
23. It hurts me when my partner ...
24. I feel the loneliest when ...
25. I am afraid ...
26. I love ...
27. We used to laugh more because ...
28. It would be best if ...
29. Friends ...
30. I feel like a phony when ...
31. I can't forgive ...
32. Together we ...
33. What surprises me is ...
34. I believe ...
35. Other people think ...
36. Men ...
37. Women ...
38. I regret ...
39. It doesn't pay to ...
40. It helps when we ...
41. If only ...
42. We never seem to ...
Whether you realize it or not, your answers to these questions have provided you with some important revelations about your attitudes, and some equally important patterns or trends in your behavior.
Based on your 42 responses, now answer the following questions:
1. Look at your responses to items 4, 6, 7, 16, 17, 24, 25, 31.
What do these answers tell you about anger in your life and your relationship? Write at least two paragraphs.
2. Look at your responses to items 1, 2, 14, 25, 27, 30. What do these answers tell you about fear in your life? Write at least two paragraphs.
3. Look at your responses to items 2, 8, 10, 14, 20, 23, 24, 42. What do these answers tell you about the loneliness in your life and relationship? Write a least two paragraphs.
4. Look at your responses to items 4, 6, 8, 11, 12, 16, 19, 31, 38, 41. What do these answers tell you about blame and forgiveness in your life and relationship? Write at least two paragraphs.
5. Look at your responses to items 2, 3, 5, 8, 12, 26, 28, 34, 41, 42. What do these answers tell you about the dreams in your life and relationship? Write at least two paragraphs.
Relationship Health Profile
Circle either True or False for each item.
1. I am satisfied with my sex life. True / False
2. My partner doesn't really listen to me. True / False
3. I trust my partner. True / False
4. I feel picked on and put down. True / False
5. I feel hopeful about our future. True / False
6. It is not easy to share my feelings. True / False
7. My partner often says, "I love you." True / False
8. Sometimes I feel rage. True / False
9. I feel appreciated. True / False
10. I am out of control. True / False
11. My partner is there for me in hard times. True / False
12. My partner is harsh in his or her criticism. True / False
13. My partner understands me. True / False
14. I fear my partner is bored. True / False
15. My partner doesn't like to share what's on his or her mind. True / False
16. I imagine myself divorced. True / False
17. My relationship is what I always dreamed of. True / False
18. I know I am right. True / False
19. My partner treats me with dignity and respect. True / False
20. My partner is a taker. True / False
21. We often do fun things together. True / False